A Poem I've written

I look at the stars.
Wondering if they are lost souls.

I look at the moon.
Wondering if it's the heart of lost souls.

I wait for you to contact me.
Stay up late at night.

Waiting for you.
To hold me tight.

I hear your whisper.
Have you been near?

Mother.
Let your spirit rest.

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I'm looking for serious critique. I know it's not my best work. But I want to become a better writer.

Lady Janet Vanity wrote:

Sorry beautiful. This poem is lacking everything that needs to be a poem. Try again sweetie then post it! xoxo - Janet

Janet,
This post lacks everything that it needs to be a posts. Learn how to criticize creatively to help Evelyn become a better writer. That's what this forum is all about.

Evelyn,
It's a good basis for a poem. Reach deeper into the emotion you are trying to capture within your writing. Feel free to post a revision if you'd like! Keep writing!

Morticia Masquerade wrote:

Lady Janet Vanity wrote:

Sorry beautiful. This poem is lacking everything that needs to be a poem. Try again sweetie then post it! xoxo - Janet

Janet,
This post lacks everything that it needs to be a posts. Learn how to criticize creatively to help Evelyn become a better writer. That's what this forum is all about.

Evelyn,
It's a good basis for a poem. Reach deeper into the emotion you are trying to capture within your writing. Feel free to post a revision if you'd like! Keep writing!

Thank you Morticia. I get shy when I'm writing. I hold back my feelings when writing as a result. Thank you for the confidence.